No I have not been abducted by aliens. Nor have I run off to Lake Como with George Clooney.
I have just been out of the blogging mood. Even though I love to blog. I guess you can say I have just been in a funk.
I started a new job but I quit after two weeks because it became abundantly clear that it was not something I wanted to invest my whole self into. And it was also a place where mistakes were not welcome and I cannot live like that.
You know, people make mistakes. That's how we learn how to do things. At least I learn that way. And this person I worked for for two weeks was too much of a control freak to let me learn how to do anything.
I have already been there. I already did that kind of job for the boss man and we all know how that turned out. The two weeks I worked was for a boss lady. And it wasn't easy.
I feel like I learned that lesson already. I don't want to go in circles. I don't want to keep making the same choices that get me in the same situations because it's easier. It is easier to take something that is simple and just busy work than it is to go after what I really really want.
But what is the point of doing anything if you don't want to do it? Why bother investing the time?
I know just what I want to do. I am just not doing it. I should be. I should have been for a while and I am not. Because I am scared.
What if what I really really want to do doesn't work out either? What if it sucks? What if I suck? What if I try and try and do my best and still nothing becomes of it? Then what? Where will I be then? I know that is just the risk that is taken when you set out on anything. That's part of the deal. You give it a go. You give it your all and hope for the best. Trust for the best.
I just feel so defeated. I left the boss man for a job that I loved so much and that didn't work out. Granted that was not any fault of my own. It was strictly because of money. But it still didn't work out.
So what if I set out on this adventure of going after what I really want and nothing happens? Nothing becomes of it? Where will I be then?
Going for it and failing is better then never trying and always wondering right?
I just have to jump in. Suck it up and jump. Maybe the water isn't as cold as I fear it is.
