Notes To Self Vol 2

Some tips from me to you that might be of good use, in case you were wondering...

1. Every parent thinks their kid is the cutest. Even if you think that kid is not so cute and kind of a pain in the ass, to the parent that kid is the most wonderful child ever to grace the face of the planet. You are not an asshole if you don't think so too. But, said parents might think you're an asshole if you don't at least act like you agree. With that said, you still don't have to let the pain in the ass not so cute kid give you a kiss when he has a mouth full of ice cream. Nor do you have to let him wipe his hand on your cashmere sweater right after he has stuck it down his poopy diaper. Cute or not that is just grossly inappropriate.

2. Glass breaks. Hair grows. It's all good.


3. If someone dumps half a bag of flour on your car because you unknowingly parked in their parking place, you have full permission to find out who that someone is that did it, and curse them with a yeast infection or very itchy gums.


4. Brownies and Valentines Day Candy and all of their affiliates, are not and will not ever be, a core food at weight watchers. So do not continue to eat them as if they were so.


5. It's not just you, that lady who works at Starbucks is grumpy.

6. A glass of wine really will make everything better. That or looking at pictures of Puppies.

7. When your younger brother in law says he's coming over, use the time between the end of the phone call and his arrival to hide your good coffee and half-n-half. Because if you don't it will be all gone by the time he leaves your house. Regardless of whether or not you just bought it or if you're low it will be ALL GONE. His vocabulary lacks the words ration and measure.

That's all for today. Class dismissed.