Spinsters vs. The Ball and Chains

I feel as though there’s this misunderstanding among single people with married people. In fact I know that there is.

When I was single I was very irritated with couples. When my sister began dating the man who is now her husband, I felt that all she wanted to do was be with him and had no interest in doing things without him. I was so frustrated with her. I remember thinking how silly it was for one to want to be with their boyfriend all the time and I swore that I would never be that way. But then I began dating my future husband. And I understood everything. Because I found that feeling. That feeling of wanting to be with someone constantly, hating moments that we were apart and hating going anyplace without him.

I didn’t abandon my friends though. I still made an effort. I didn’t abandon making plans with them or wanting to hang out with them. But in a way, it seems they abandoned me. Slowly over time the invitations to girls nights faded, the last minute calls to go get breakfast ended and there were no more days of going for coffee to catch up.

I doubt I made it seem like I no longer needed them or that I no longer wanted to spend time together. But for some reason, that seems to be the message that was received. And no matter how hard I try to spend time with my single friends, we never do. And it gets blamed on me. I am married so obviously I am the flake.

There is this huge misconception among people that are not in a relationship that married people have no need for friends. That married people are flaky, that we are old and boring. That the second a couple says " I Do" all fun goes out the window.

But that’s not true.

Married people are still people. We have fun. We're not boring. We are not some kind of freakish cult that hates the singles. We don’t have his and hers mugs, cars or towels. And we don’t feel like people without significant others are to be felt sorry for like they have some horrible disease. It’s not like when we get invited places we tell whoever that’s asked to hold on a sec while we check with the spouse. And we are not at all like the way Bridget Jones depicts married couples either. And yet, it's how married people are viewed from the eyes of most people that are single.

But I am a married person. And I am awesome. My husband is awesome too. And together we are a very cool married couple. We love our single friends. Even though at times it seems they don’t love us.

Maybe their irritation matches their envy. Maybe they loathe us but at the same time they want what they loathe too? Maybe they are just like me with my sister before I understood. Maybe they just haven't found it yet?

I hope they will one day understand where I am coming from. And when/if they ever do, I will still be here to be their friend.