Rollerblading Sumo Wrestlers

We live in a two story building. Our unit is below this tiny old man. He's very sweet. I think he works for the EPA or something. He's always doing things to take care of his plants and to recycle. He puts up notices in the laundry room about household products that are better for the environment and leaves petitions for people to sign that encourage our local government to do more to protect the water and air. He drives a hybrid.

He's very quite. He avoids small talk. When I pass by him in the parking lot or see him by the trash bins, he doesn't say "hello" he says "greetings". He sits in our buildings court yard everyday and drinks beer while he reads a book. It's a new one everyday. Yesterday it was Harry Potter.

I am not sure what he does inside his apartment though. Outside he is so quiet, but inside, inside he is the loudest person. It sounds like hes dropping bowling balls or large piles of chain link onto his floor. Or that he has a terrible balance problem and falls down all the time. Because everyday I hear these loud sounds.

THUD, BOOOM, DROP, BANG, CRASH!

I have no idea what is going on up there. But Matty and I decided that it's one of three things.

One: He has no furniture and because he has such a huge hard wood floor apartment, hes turned into a roller rink (as anyone who has a hardwood floor living space should). And he invites over all his sumo wrestler friends to skate. They are not very good at skating so they fall down a lot. Hence the loud thuds that sometimes rattle our windows a little.

Two: He is an aspiring stilt walker. Being so tiny I am sure he has dreams of being tall like Michale Jordan or some other tall person he admires. That would account for the thumps we hear that sound like he's fallen off of something followed by his bouts of swearing. He's probably pissed he fell of his stilts.

Three: He's a lover of the old loney toons cartoons. So he collects anvils. His closet is full of them. He goes to an anvil convention every august out in the Midwest somewhere and gets a new one every year. He's got about sixty now. He has so many that when he opens his closet to put another one in or to look at one of the many he has, they all fall out onto the floor. This would account for the banging thudding crashing rumbling sounds that shake my ceiling.

Or it's just him being alone and making noises. I am not sure what the actual reason is. I am sure it's none of the above. However it would just be so awesome if he really did have sumo wrestlers over to roller skate. The funny thing is, I doubt he has any idea that we have come up with these theories because he is totally unaware of his sounds. If he was aware I doubt they would happen.

The same can be said for anyone who lives in a building. We are totally unaware of how much noise we make. I feel like Matty and I are pretty quiet. But who knows, maybe one of our neighbors has theories about us. The crazy young couple on the ground floor.

Any theories about your neighbors?