It has been years, years, since I have written anything. To be honest I cannot remember the last thing I wrote or even the last time I did it. I think I wanted a fresh start or for something to feel new, so for whatever reason I deleted all my previous posts on here. In hindsight that was kind of stupid because I erased all that history. There's no use over thinking that. I did it and can't change it. So we are. New post being written that I hopefully won't end up deleting.
I love to write but, after I have not done it in a while I forget that I love it. Much like peanut butter on a rice cake. It has to be one of my most favorite snacks. I could eat that all day long. But I don't remember how much I really love them until it's all that's left in the pantry when I'm starving; and I'll remember "these are so good! why don't I eat them all the time?" They're even better with the occasional drizzle of honey. But I'll go to the store and get other snacks and weeks will pass and I will not have a PBRC until there's nothing left to snack on but that.
It's the same with writing. I won't do it or will avoid doing it but once I actually start to write I love it and want to do it all the time. I think I don't write very often because I talk myself out of it. I will tell myself that nothing I write will be any better than what everyone else is already writing.
Everyone wants to be recognized for something or to "go viral". And while that is totally normal and fine, it annoys me. Cause it makes me feel like whatever I write is just like what every one else is doing or writing too and I am just one of the million of other people out there with some blog about life and whatnot. I am sure that makes me sound like a horrible person. And I honestly do not mean it to. I just feel like so many people do it now, it's not special anymore. What makes what I write or have to say any different than what a million other people are doing or writing? Why would anyone want to read what I have to say?
And I guess there in lies the rub. What is my true motivation? What are my intentions? If I am being honest, totally completely honest; it's just to write and put it out there. If nobody ever reads it, that's fine. I just love to do it. It's my PB on a rice cake. And if anyone ever does read it, well that's great too. That's PB on a rice cake with a little drizzle of honey. Either way it's a great snack that I love. Honey or no honey.